When I left the organization, I decided to just visit different churches each week. I found out the service hours and showed up. No one tried to force me to join anything. It was a learning experience for me.......to see how different churches conducted their services. In each place I found things I liked and things I didn't like. I considered myself a Christian and wanted a church home. I ended up being "saved" and baptized at one church that I started attending regulary twice a week and once a week for bible study in the homes of members. It was a very large congregation (hundreds) and was mildly Pentacostal in nature. One time they had a special weekend with a visiting healer and the place was packed. The healings were pretty phoney and those who were really sick didn't get well. I quit going there.
Then I found a small non-denominational church that I liked a lot. The pastor's parents were JW's ironically. I started attending their weekly new believer classes and was involved with the women's and single's ministries. (OMG how funny...right now the phone is ringing and it is JW's on the caller ID, must be doing telephone territory!!!!!) The people were great and very caring.
Anyway, after a while I realized that it was kind of the same thing with a different name. Just like the JW's believed you had to be a part of the organization, the churches taught you had to accept Jesus as your savior and be saved. I wondered about all of the other people on the planet who weren't Christian. And then I got to sersiously thinking about the whole salvation teaching and I realized how crazy it was. Supposedly I am a sinner by inheritance and I have no control over that. If I want eternal life in a place other than hell, I must become a Christian and get saved. It's not my fault Adama & Eve screwed up but I pay the price and if I don't get saved I am damned???? Kind of like a parent having a child, raising them to be an independent adult and then saying you have to do this or that my way, and if you don't, I am going to punish you (or kill you). And what kind of a crazy idea is it that Jesus dying would wipe away sin to begin with and only ultimately for those accepting him and getting saved? After those (and may other) realizations hit me, I quit attending and embraced a higher level of spirituality not based on fear or organized religion....and not necessarily dependent on an individual called "God". The part I miss most about attending church is the great praise and worship services, so opposite from the JW boring 3 minute singing to taped piano. Those churches can really rock!
That is just my experience. Each person will have his or her own. You will have yours and it will most likely be a process, not a one time event.
Wishing you the best in your journey.
